Girl Boss Guerilla (1972)

The third film in the Pinky Violence Girl Boss series, Girl Boss Guerilla was directed by madman Norifumi Suzuki, and features feisty Miki Sugimoto as the leader of a girl biker gang who falls for an amateur boxer. The girls basically get around by seducing and then blackmailing priests and buddhist monks, and random men in general, as well as the Yakuza, and the girls getting beaten-up by the Yakuza (hey what Japanese film such as this wouldn't be complete without the Yakuza?!)...

Daft funky 70s fun-

My Rating: 6.2/10

Visitor Q (2001)

Alternative Japanese film made on a budget of around $70k.

Directed by Takashi Miike famed for his head fcuk-ness and Yakuza films.

This film focusses on a dysfunctional Japanese family, kinda like American Beauty, but more uglier. It's directed in a style similar to Pulp Fiction, e.g. 'Oh he's really connected to that, and so and so is apparently related to so and so, etc.'

An average feature, not really brilliant, but not necessarily garbage either. The pace of the film is a little slow, and some of the x-rated scenes a little far fetched. Actually, this would have been somewhat controversial in Japan- Japan being the conservative, societal-regimented nation that it is, would not like this film to have a dysfunctional family, in a film that is internationally representative of the country. Although Japan is now a democratic nation, it's conservative-ness is still deeply rooted it's culture. Japan wants happy smiley regimented familys that put the children through school to come out as fine programmed company robotos, not the cracker jack-basketcases you seen here.

And, do I recomend it to you the reader? Well, how can I put it, if you liked Pulp Fiction (Films like that), head fcuk films, and are into Japanese culture in general, you may enjoy it. I don't urge you to get it, but it's better than getting the latest Vin Diesel movie to throw up at on a drunken weekend night.

My rating: 6.0/10

Deadly Outlaw Rekka (2002)

Directed by Takashi Miike, and stars Riki Takeuchi.

Your typical run of the mill Yakuza movie.

It's funny but, with my DVD copy, the film looked like it was made around 1995, cuz there was so much fuzz n grain on the camera etc. Not sure why that was, mine was an official copy, but, oh well...

Takashi Miike has made a ton of Yakuza movies, and Riki Takeuchi has started in a ton of em' also.

There's one funny scene where Riki Takeuchi and his aniki (lil' yakuza brother) get a rocket launcher, but the manual is in Chinese. His aniki throws the manual down frustrated, and says 'Aw shit man, I can't read godamn Chinese!' and Riki says 'pull the trigger and something will come out.' They fire the rocket launcher into the enemy's building, and the rocket launcher picks up this yakuza running towards em, and the rocket flies the yakuza into the building and blows up.

If you haven't seen many yakuza movies, you'll probably enjoy the movie to an extent, but if you've seen a ton of em already like me, then you probably will find the whole thing alot less enjoyable.

My rating: 5.6/10

Graveyard Of Honor (197?)

Yakuza film from the early 70s, released by Toei. Apparently directed by the same guy who did Battle Royale.

Lots of graphic sex, violence, hookers and what not.

Set in post-war Japan, Rikio is a member of he Kawada gang, but his rebelious insubordination leads him onto other things... such as hookers & drugs.

This film is basically a fictional documentation of the downfall of a Yakuza thug. Could I say it's about anything else? Not really.

Watchable...

My rating: 5.1/10

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

I seen Meet the Spartans not so long ago... was one of the worst, unfunny parodies I've seen since Scary Movie 4.

The Eminem parody is funny, I found it funny, didn't find the rest funny. Didn't find the previous Scary Movie movies funny apart from the parts where they rip-on jocs.

These movies are made to the masses in America, who are often brain dead, or brain-fried. They're designed for watching with your brain switched off. Sit a basket of veg. in front of the TV and put this on, it ought to love it~!

My overal rating: 2.5/10 ...Rated NVF-15 (Not Very Funny)

King Of Fighters '99 (1999, SNK, PS1)

I've heard Neo Geo cartridge games are still avaitable, but cost like $400...

First time I played King Of Fighters was at my Japanese host family's house. Their kid had King Of Fighters 98 for the PS1, and his cousin had the actual Neo-Geo cartridges. That was like 9 years ago nearly, and that was my reason for buying this game.

I'm not sure what makes King Of Fighters soo popular... I think maybe it is SNK's distinctive artwork style, but can't see what's so special about the gameplay.

You get a shitload of characters to chose from. There is no story mode... you fight your way through a dozen of so characters, before you battle with genetically enhanced boss Krizalid.

The graphics look like they could have been from 1994 or 1996, but look dissapointing for a game released in 1999 or 2000. I think Capcom is the king of the 2D fighting genre.

There's this one character, a Chinese midget with a metal claw glove called Chun, who's pretty funny, and there's a character in one of the backgrounds who looks like my friend Frank. That's what I'll remember this game for.

My rating: 3.3/10

Gundam Z (1997, PS1)

Released in 1997 for the playstation, Japan only. Not an entirely bad looking 3D action game for 1997. Some PS1 3D graphics are shaky and terrible looking, but this one doesn't look too bad.

Not a fan of Gundam. Seen clips of the Gundam animes, but based on the story and the fact that Bandai have tried to milk it for like 50 years put me right off watching it. I used to own Gundam F-91 for the Super Famicom/SNES 10 years ago, but only bought it cuz it was an anime game, and back then I thought it was awesome to own any anime game.

There's 2 discs- one is the hero's story mode, the second is the enemys. I completed disc 1 within 2 days, maybe less, and the enemy's within 40 minutes. Anyone can complete this game within this time frame, even a monkey ONG ONG!

I wouldn't recomend this to you especially, not unless you wanna pay $25 for an import game that can be completed in under 24 hours!

My rating in terms of graphics: 7.8/10

My rating in terms of gameplay, etc: 3.4/10

Ghost In The Shell (1997, PS1)

Released in 1997 for the playstation, the game is more in sync with the manga than the anime movie by Mamoru Oshi. The US and European releases were a year after the Japanese release, in 1998.

You play as robot spider-thingy, Fuchikoma (known as Tachikoma in the dull Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex TV series). You can scale walls like Spiderman, hang upside down, shoot grenades and destroy huge cyborg-mechas, lotsa fun! ^^

There's 12 levels to play. I got through the entire thing with one week.

My one quarm about this game is that alot of the mecha don't look very 'Shirow-ish.' In alot of Shirow's anime and what not, you can tell if it's a Shirow designed mecha or not, and alot of the mechas you battle here don't have that distinctive Shirow style, but no matter; one of the bets anime games for the PS1-

My rating: 8.8/10

Macross VFX-2 (PS1, 1999)

Sequel to Macross Digital Mission VFX, released 3 years before this one (which I haven't played... yet).

I had Macross: Do You Remember Love? for the Sega Saturn ten years ago. If you've played Gundam Z for the Sega, it basically looks the same as that- 2D 32-bit graphics with minimal 3D elements. VFX-2 is fully 3D rendered world of Macross though. My only quarm about this game, or some 3D PS1 games in general is that from a distance it looks awesome, but upclose, everything looks like one big pixel.

I think there's about 12 or 14 missions to play. I always play these games in hard mode, and I think I completed the game in 3 weeks. The bosses are very unusual looking, and the gameplay varries from level to level. Along the way you get the option of poileting different mecha also.

One of the best anime games made for the PS1,

My rating: 8.1/10

Devilman (2000, PS1)

Who would have believed they would have released a Devilman video game? Well, they did. Released by Bandai in 2000. *I had to buy a Japanese PS1 to play 10 anime games I bought dirt cheap off yahoo Japan. You can buy a used PS1 from gameshops for like $50 now, but for this NTSC-J PS1, with shipping, I payed close to $210!

Probably what you're wondering is, what Siren/Silene/The Demon Bird will look like in the game... what will the fight-in-flight between her and Akira look like? Well, Silene in the manga and 1990 anime is naked-you can see her jugs, and white pussy hair, right? In the past there has been numerous attempts to 'censor' Silene. On the Manga Video release of Devilman VOL.2, Silene is covered in white feathers/fur from head to toe. There's also one Go Nagai acrylic Devilman paintin in which her entire body is covered in white feathers also. So what does the fight scene look like? Well it doesn't look like anything, because you don't get to fight Silene. The final boss is an amalgamation of Agwell, Ghelmar, and Jinmen... with, I think Jinmen as the dominant consiousness. After that boss is defeated, the creidts roll, and you get to play the game from the start again, only difference is, you play as the 'TV version' of Akira, and not the manga one again. I've heard that if you follow the game through to the end, you get to battle with the TV version of Silene. But why heck would I wanna replay the game just for that? Unless the game was so great I wanted to go at it again (like Metal Gear Solid), but it's not! The once is enough is always enough for me with average games. Especially average PS1 games- there ain;t alot of people who like retro games, especially shakey retro 32 bit games, but so long as they're great games, I don't mind playing em- Die Hard Trilodgy, Resident Evil 2 & 3, etc.

Devilman is a very average game, with very average gameplay involved. I actually think some of he 3D backgrounds look better than the ones from Silent Hill (that looked awful for a 1999 game... the graphics from Silent Hill looked more like 1996 graphics). The character models in Devilman look bad for a game released in 2000 also- I imagine the game would have been under developent for a few years- judging from the aesthetics of the character models, it may have been as early as late 1997.

For me the hardest part of the game was tapping the buttons fast enough to transform into Devilman for the first time- your ceased by a badly sculpted demon, and to stop yourself becoming demon chow (and turnin into Devilman for the first time), you have to slam down triangle, circle, square, and X buttons as fast as humanely possible. It took me 2 or 3 weeks to pass this point. After then, the game was pretty much a walkthrough, and I think I completed it in 8 days or whatever.

My rating: 6.2/10

Golgo 13: Queen Bee (1998)

Directed by Osamu Dezaki, who directed the first Golgo 13 anime.

This time Golgo is hired to assasinate a female revolutionary known as Queen Bee. Why is called Queen Bee? -well, she gives birth to all her men's children. I won't rant on about the story so as not to spoil.

I seen the first Golgo 13 anime, Golgo 13: The Professional on the sci-fi channel on cable 8 years ago. I liked it because of it's realism, and the complexity of the story. It felt like adult GI Joe or something from the 80s. Alot of people bitch about the animation and music in Queen Bee, yet seem to forget that the first Golgo 13 anime was produced on a 'theatrical budget,' whereas Queen Bee was a straight to video release. What I can't understand is, if Golgo 13 is so phenomenal, and sold so many manga throughout the world, etc etc, then why couldn't they have made more OVAs through the years?

Anyway, Golgo 13 doesn't feature in this one as much- he's more of a background character, which will be pretty dissapointing for fans. There's this one scene where Golgo boards a ship Queen Bee is on, and attempts to take her life- when he runs, he's like out within 3 seconds, he literally moves like the devil!

So umm, you're gonna watch this anyway if you liked the first one. It's just not as good as the frist anime, and the gratuitous sex & violence don't seem to quite fit in places, etc. Soundtrack seems less jazzy than the other one in which Toshiyuki Kimori was the composer, and the Queen Bee sex scene at the end is really cheesy...

My rating: 6.5/10

The Matrix: Path Of Neo (2005, PS2, X-Box)

Better looking than 'Enter The Matrix,' released to tie in with the Matrix Reloaded.

Not a big fan of the Matrix, or even a fan for that matter. I basically see it as Hollywood ripping off famous anime. There's one way that influence can lead to a totally new fresh creation, and then there's being influenced by something/s and blatantly ripping them off.

There's not alot of origional games out there- there's probably a handful, 14 or 15 that are in themselves origional and worth playing- then there's the other 3,000 PS2 games out there, that basically have identical gameplay to those 15 or so origional games, just with different graphics. I'd say Enter The Matrix was one of those games you should play if you've bought a PS2 or whatever. Enter the Matrix was the first game to utilise the bullet time technqiue. There was a Japanese game released in 2004, called '10,000' bullets, that used a slow-time technique identical to bullet time.

Anyways, Path Of Neo looks far better than Enter The Matrix- the graphics are very realistic, and the game remains faithful to the Matrix trilodgy. There's alot of new levels and stories written into the game by the Wachowski Brothers, as well as being able to engage in every major fight scene from the 3 Matrix movies. My fave scenario is the battle with the agents and the helicopter on the rooftop. Instead of the game ending after Smith is destroyed, you have to fight a huge King Kong sized Smith made out of scrap metal and concrete that's pretty lame, and then the credits roll on.

My rating: 7.9/10

Bodyguard Kiba 2: ApOcALYpSe Of cArNaGe (1994)

Straight to video genre martial arts flick directed by Takashi Miike (who directed Ichi The Killer and Audition).

Let me not the subtitle: 'Apocalypse Of Carnage.' This movie is far from ultra-violent. There's more shots of buildings, human traffic, hookers, and food stands than there is ultra-violence, or even violence for that matter.

Well, this was terrible. 64 minutes of mindless crap. Takashi Miike probably directed this with his brain switched off (Miike directs 8 movies in a year btw;). There's a bodyguard called Kiba, who works for this karate dojo. His current mission is to protect this woman.

The only scene I will remember from this movie, is where this Chinese warlord geezer is dancing around in a Tokyo strip bar with these semi-naked Japanese hostesses. Had I been 13, that would have been the highlight of the movie for me, and I would have recorded it for personal purposes. But that ain't even an exucse to buy, or even download this movie...

I'm not even gonna review it, it was so bad, but what I will do is NOT recomend it to you. I wouldn't recomend it to you even if you really like: Japan, martial arts, Chinese culture, Japanese women, the year 1994 (in which this... 'movie' was made). Don't even attempt to download it. It's one of those films that you'll feel you wasted 1 hour and 4 minutes of your life, when you could of been doing something better.


My rating: 1/10 rated RD-13 (Retardedly Dull)

City Of Lost Souls (2000)

Another gangster film from Takashi Miike. This one involving Brazilians and the Chinese mafia.

Not sure what happened to the story with this one. Either I wasn't watching it properly, ot it wasn't enaging enough for me to follow it properly.

This guy called Marco, Brazilian, flies to the Japanese border in a hi-jacked chopper to pick up his Chinese girlfriend. They end up in Japan somehow, and steal a case of hi quality yayo offa this Chinese mafia boss (who has the hots for Marco's girlfriend, bu she doesn't have the hots for him). The cocaine was meant to be dealt to this Yakuza cheif, and he goes on an ultra-violent interogation after he loses his cocaine.

Some unpredicatable twists n turns, some funny moments- there's CGI chicken fight scene that rips off the Matrix, which was moderately funny (actually I thought it was pretty cute how they tried to get laughs off that... the CGI chickens aren't all that great looking, but I can still appreciate the effort). The ending was pretty funny too, but the plot was very disengaging at times.

My rating: 5.8/10

Yakuza Demon (2003)

Yet another Yakuza film from director Takashi Miike. I don't think anyone has documented the Yakuza in terms of fiction more than Miike has. These movies are 'striaght to video/DVD,' and are directed pretty fast and sporty. Riki Takeuchi stars as the main character. Takeuchi is probably 'The King of the Straight to Video Yakuza Bad-ass.' He stared in an American-co-Japanese Yakuza flick called 'The Yakuza Way.' It was terrible and... (woah! I think I'll review that crap in a second! ^^)... mindless, but you could tell amidst all the cheesiness that there was something to the way Takeuchi played a Yakuza...

The film opens up with Yakuza boss Muto flying a kite, guarded by Seiji (Riki Takeuchi), and his aniki (little yakuza brother). The Muto family are part of the 'Date' syndicate. A rival syndicate, the Tendo, attack the Date family, which leads to a meeting in which Boss Muto was required to pay money to help finance the gang war. However, Muto does not have enough so offers an assassination instead. Seiji squeels on his boss to the police where abouts he hides his gun, and Muto gets arrested and sentenced to 2 years. Seiji, and his aniki, Yoshi, then attempt to take out the whole of the Tendo group by themselves, kinda like a 2-man army. I won't rant to more as to not spoil, but the ending, involving Seiji and his sister is pretty ironic.

Usually straight to video movies are the cheesiest of the creme de la crap of film (e.g. Universal Soldier 2), but Japanese straight to video films are different, and made with more of an independant edge. Often quickly made sporty movies like this can be a strain to watch, just so you can say 'I seen it all, and it was douche,' but Miike always seems to do a good job with these Yakuza movies. I'm watching a TV series called MPD Psycho he directed back in the late 90s, and I don't think to much of it at present (alot of the gore n sex is mosiaced out on the DVD release I own)- it's the one work of his besides Young Thugs Inocent Blood I'm not liking on a scale of 6/10.

My rating: 6.7/10

Agitator (2001)

Yet another Yakuza film from director Takashi Miike. This is one long-ass movie- the DVD release is approximately 200 mins long (the cinematic release was 150 mins).

If you like gangster films, anime, manga, and Japanese culture in general (most kids today who like anime have an interest in Japanese culture as well), then you should check this movie out.

I won't give the plot away or anything, as not to spoil the personal discovery one gets from watching a good film for the firts time... the ending is pretty kamikaze though.

My rating: 6.6/10

Full Metal Yakuza (1997)

Another Yakuza flick from Takashi Miike... only difference here is that the main character becomes a cyborg.

Low budget comedy-sci-fi. It's funny in the same way that the Evil Dead II was funny. I never knew Evil Dead II was meant to be funny when I first seen it, then I seen Evil Dead III, and realised Sam Raimi actually WANTS us to laugh.

The end of this movie is hilarious, and screwed up...

Basically a loser Yakuza trying to make ends meet is out on a mission with another Yakuza and gets shot to death by a rival gang. He is then rebuilt by a scientist with cybernetic parts, and the parts of his friend who was shot down at the same time, being reborn as cyborg who eats metal, complete with a massive wang. He then goes about finding out who set them up, etc. I'm not sure why, but Takeshi Miike seems to have a huge obsession with massive wangs... his interest in massive wangs is expressed in another 2 or 3 of his films to my knowledge... check out Dead Or Alive 2 for a big laugh.

Not especially great cinema, but definately worth a watch for a laugh. If you like Japan, anime, and comedy, you should watch this.

Fave Quote: 'we can find the scientist and get him to make another Full Metal Yakuza, a very loyal company roboto.'

My rating: 6.3/10

Urotsukidoji: Legend Of The Overfiend

A classic adult-anime adapted from a 1985 manga by Toshio Maeda.

There are 2 worlds that exist parralel (sP!?) to ours- the demon world, and the man-beast world (those who are half human, and half beast). There is a legend that proficizes the coming of a God called 'the Chojin' (translates as Super being) every 3,000 years, who will unite the 3 worlds of the humans, the demons, and the man-beasts. The legends says that he will appear through the body of a human. Amano Jyaku, sent from the man-beast world, along with his debauched sister, Megumi, having been searching for the Chojin for over 300 years now, reckons he has tracked down the most likely candidate, Ozaki, an A-star basketball wizz, who Amano believes meets all the credentials to be the Chojin. The demon world does not want the unification of the 3 world to take place, and sends out it's hoards to aprehend and destroy the Chojin. Amano has to find the Chojin before the demons do.

You either hate this anime or you love it. I seen it when I was 14, and I love it. It's probably up there in my all time fave anime. I think it's the perfect angst-type horror-our de-force of the imagination for boys aged 15-18. Amano Jyaku is just the coolest anime hero ever, and the sex scenes in Urotsukidoji are tastefully done. The only other hentai anime before this was Cream Lemon. I've never seen it, but it was released a year before Urotsukidoji, in 1986.

When Urotsukidoji was first released in Japan it got negative reception, this is the devil's work, blah blah, etc etc. But by the mid 90s, there was a ton of hentai anime in Japan, and now noone even bats an eye lit at it. Urotsukidoji is one of those anime that was designed for video to appeal to people who just wanted to see sex and violence on video. In the 80s, that's what people went for- Arnold Schwatzenigger tearing the arms off a scientist, and then sticking a pipe through the other's neck was what made great viewing. Now, it's a great plot and script that makes for great entertainment, but back then, the best thing a company could make was a video nasty. The actual manga, released in 1985; I've read it, and it's okay, the artwork is a cross over between American and Japanese comics, but I think the anime created something so much more than what the manga was. The anime stretches the boundaries of imagination, and, it could have either been done great, or badly. Had it stayed 100% faithful to the manga, it may have been crap.

I'm againgst all those people who say that the rape in this is evil also. This anime was aimed at the 18 year old male. Almost all the scenes in which rape occurs, the instigator is a monster/demon, and it would be impossible for a human being to duplicate the act (unless they had tentacles). Also, I watched an interview with creator Toshio Maeda, and Maeda said that back in the 90s there were a ton of girls who came to him asking him to 'do them.' So, you can't exactly say that all women hated seeing girls getting groped by demons and what not right?

Great animation, great characters, great designs, exellent story, my rating:

9.5/10

Cybernetics Guardian (1989)

Anime from the guy who brought us... (err, for those of you who are familiar with anime) M.D. Geist and Genocyber, Koichi Ohta. The only thing I like about this anime is the mecha and monster designs.

It was know wonder why I was able to pick this up for $1.50...

This is probably sometime in the future... there is this company where this guy called John is the poilot for the testing of this new powersuit (the lamest looking design in the anime btw;) againgst a rival cybernetic suit thingy. There is a blonde broad involved who likes John, and is pursued by Adler- the creator/pilot whatever of the rival cybernetic suit thingy. This John guy is kidnapped (I think), and then made into the Cybernetic Guardian by this weird vampire esque cult (who claim he was one of the kids from his home town who was implanted with the seeds of hate when he was a kid...) - this huge scary looking ass thing that is a crossover between mecha, monster, and a wolf. Goes on a rampage, and... nah, I just can't, this anime is soo bad, I can't be bothered to tell you what it's about... in the end the Adler guy is destroyed in his Genocyber contraption, and John is able to operate the Cybernetic Guardian transformation of his own free will, and gets the girl.

I think maybe there wasn't more released because it was a flop in Japan. Actually, sci-fi anime has alot more success outside of Japan, in countries like America and Europe than in it's native Japan. For a long time, manga artist Shirow Masamune was more famous in America than in Japan, as was Guyver creator Yoshiki Takaya. The anime that tends to fair better in Japan is family based anime, and drama anime which documents everyday life... sh't like Doraemon, Anpan-Man, GTO, Future Boy Conan, Dragonball. Sci-fi anime in Japan isn't recieved my a mass audience, unless it gets a cinematic release.

One thing I don't get with this anime is the design for the Genocyber... the anime itself, Genocyber (1993), the main creature, Genocyber, is a biological humanoid weapon, whereas the Genocyber in Cybernetics Guardian is a six legged-cybernetic battle tank.

Anyway this anime is terrible. Character development is practically non existant, and the script is terrible. For sci-fi/horror anime, this one is terribly cliched in what you'd expect to see in it, after having first discovered anime like 14 years ago. You know when you see anime where the hero transforms into a mecha or mecha monster? -there's a ton of them, and they basically all have the same premise... guy who was used as a guiena pig can transform into a combatant creature does battle with evil corporation and theres a girl involved, and if it ain't a corporation, it's a weird ass cult organisation. There's a few of them that are actually great, such as the Guyver, Genocyber, or Devilman. And then there's the rest which are just stoopid. Cybernetics guardian is stoopid. I could slate it more, but it's just stoopid, and thus my rating is...

2.5/10

Female Yakuza Tale (1973)

Toei released a whole bunch of films like this in the early-late 70s.

This film combines a whole lot of sex and violence, and Yakuza. The DVD cover is explanatory of the film itself. I can't remember the plot very clearly, but this Yakuza gang carries white china heroin by shoving small bottles of the stuff up women's pussies.

There's a whole bunch of these types of films that I've yet to watch. I know where Tarantino got his influence for Kill Bill though.

My rating: 6.7/10